40+ Random Acts of Kindness for #MattsLegacy

Matthew James Harker would have turned 40 years old on January 8th, 2015.  Instead, in my mind, he will always be 39 years old...even when I am old and gray(er) and have grandkids, my memory of Matt will keep him frozen at the relatively young age he was killed.  This birthday, the first one without him here, is perhaps the hardest day for me since his funeral because it's a MILESTONE that belonged to him.  We have passed other milestones like Quinton's birthday, Gavin's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and a New Year.  Those weren't Matt's Milestones...his birthday is his and for him not to be here is a pointedly sad day for me.

The Random Acts with the hashtag #mattslegacy is a tradition I hope to keep moving forward.  If no one but my boys and I do it 40 years from now, I am okay with that, but it is a way for us to consciously remember him and take action to honor a good man who left this earth far too soon.

Thank you to all who participate this first year.  You are creating good in Matt's memory and for that, I am humbled and grateful.
Stacy

Matt's 39th Birthday Party

A Lot Can Change In An Instant...

Two and a half months ago, I blogged about our anniversary...how can it happen in an instant that everything, our whole world changes?  I know this to be true and have seen it with the birth of our boys and lots of other life experiences but now, it is really REAL.

I had made a goal to start blogging again this year, mostly because I rarely write in a journal and this seemed the best place to chronicle our family adventures.  Little did I know it would become a place for friends, family and MEDIA to eventually find information about what we'd been up to shortly before Matt's accident.

Soon, I will share more about that terrible, awful day.
Today, I just want to say thank you to all of our friends and family and even strangers who have helped us during this difficult time.  There are more difficult times ahead, too, so keep us in your thoughts and prayers...I rely on them daily.

Happy Anniversary!

This week, Matt and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary which seems so crazy!  I can remember driving to the Orlando Temple together, on our way to be sealed for time and all eternity, like it was last week!  Seriously!  Now...we have three amazing boys who have brought us the happiest and craziest times of our lives!

This was one of our 'candid' engagement shots.

And this was a few months after we were married.

 And just last September...

I have learned so much about myself, Matt and sacrifice in the last 14 years!  We have had major ups and major downs and each and everyone of those peaks and valleys has taught me something.  I can't wait to see what the next 14 years and more brings to us!

New 'Hood Different Day!

I know this isn't exactly a news flash to most of you but we moved...again. We now call Casper, Wyoming home...and I get a lot of people asking me how we like it.  It has its pluses and minuses like most places but there are two huge reasons why this was a good move for us at this time.  First, Matt is home 90% of the time.  This is a MAJOR change...last year, he was home 30% of the time which was NOT FUN and late last year, it bumped to 55%, which was an improvement but still hard on the family.  Having him around more has made all the difference for me and the boys.  I tell people that we could really live anywhere as long as we are a full-time family and this really proves it for us!  

Second BONUS for moving here was Quinton's schooling.  His teacher in Utah was competent enough but that's about it.  Quinton and his teacher just did not mesh well AT.ALL. Quinton went from being a happy-go-lucky kid in the 1st grade to a stressed-out "behavior problem" kid in the 2nd!  Now I think Matt being gone was a small factor in that but really, it was the conflict between Q and his teacher.  I got the school counselor involved and was working so hard with Quinton but everyday was a struggle and it broke my heart to see Q come home with his head down every single school day.  I was really struggling to know what to do when this move came up and I saw it as a GREAT opportunity to resolve the situation.  Fast-forward two months in his new school...and his attitude has done a 180 degree turnaround!  His new class size is almost HALF of what it was in Utah and his new teacher praises him so much more and it's working!  Not once has Quinton come home with a note about his behavior!  He is HAPPY when I pick him up and he is THRIVING in his new school!  Another major bonus is that his teacher does not CLING to the Common Core standards and is genuinely TEACHING to the kids and not AT them!  What a difference this makes!  We were doing 2 hours of homework a night in Utah...here it's 15 minutes!!!  In Utah, he had to read a "school" book three times a day and turn it in....here, he can choose any book he likes and needs to read it a minimum of 20 minutes a day.  Subsequently, he has finished his first 100+ page chapter book ON HIS OWN and even wrote the author a letter telling her how much he loved her book!  I can't say enough what a blessing this move has been for our family!

But for me, it feels like another move...same life just different scenery.  I love to meet new people but I am also tired of it, know what I mean?  It's exhausting starting all over again and again and again!  Just this week, I have FINALLY signed the boys up for activities!  It has been a nice two months not shuttling kids anywhere but they really need the activity and I need the distraction.  Another Casper bonus: I signed Sawyer and Quinton up for Ice Hockey lessons!  Ha, ha!  They love ice skating with Matt!  I am way too chicken...remember, I grew up in Florida!

I'm not sure if anyone checks this blog anymore but I rather like keeping it as our family journal!

Spring Time

Apparently, I take a few pictures even though I haven't put much up on the blog...but my little helper has noticed and was saying CHEEEEESE while trying to take my picture in this picture!

 

I swear I have seen this face before....try twice more...Gavin looks so much like his brothers! I can't get enough of this kid's giggle and he is always so happy to see me in the morning!

 Sawyer turned three in April which is so hard to believe!  I love this spastic kid of mine!  He tries my patience but he has the biggest heart so it's hard to be mad with him for very long.  A hug or kiss from this kid makes my day! 

Recently, I've noticed that his language hasn't been progressing so we're trying some learning programs to help him with this and work on his social skills as well.  Sawyer has very definite opinions about things and people and heaven help you if he doesn't like you!!!

That's all for now...time to try and sneak in a nap...

Where Have All The Harkers Gone?

We are still here!

Seriously.

I promise.

Alive and well...but busy!

 

I can't believe it's been since August that I blogged but it's true and if anyone is still checking this page...well, thank you for being faithful!

 

I don't think I will attempt to make note of everything that has happened in the past 6.5 months but I want to mentionThe passing of one of the world's best Granddads there has ever been!  My mom's dad, Grandpa Gardner, passed away in November.  It was hard for me because I have been lucky enough to have 3 of my grandparents still living and the older I get, the harder it is to let go of some of the most loving and generous people in my life. 

All of that being said, I know he is much happier not being held back by physical limitations in this life.

I love you Grandaddy!

 

Quinton is a smart 1st grader with a bit of attitude for his mom but is always quick to hug me and will always be my first baby!

Sawyer at two and a half is affectionately known as the "destroyer" because he is all about finding out how things work and then making them not work anymore...yep, that about sums him up!

 

Sweet, sweet baby Gavin is already 6 months old!  I can barely believe it but I have the baby weight to prove it, LOL!  He is a very sweet baby and despite my desire to break our "Harker Boy Mold", he seems to ahve come straight from it!  We all love to hug and kiss and squeeze those sweet baby cheeks!

I know this may be a lame attempt at an update but Gavin is already awake and Sawyer...well, he's doing Sawyer-ly things that I have to put an end to before someone gets hurt!



The Big Move of July 2012!

I know I am way behind on blogging but I have to plead my case as a mostly single-mom who is ginormously pregnant (36 weeks tomorrow) and just lacking in time and energy...oh well!

Back to our big move!

Mobile to Lehi, Utah and our new house, which I LOVE but sometimes feels like the movie Money Pitt with Tom Hanks and Shelley Long.  Everything looks nice and new on the surface but sometimes, when you use it or touch it, it falls apart!  For example, we have a cute mailbox but it was pretty wobbly on it's stand.  It finally fell off it's stand this week and Matt is out of town for two weeks so I had to figure out how to re-mount it in 100 degree heat...little stuff like that keeps popping up.  I still enjoy our new house but home ownership is HARD!

The moving truck being unloaded:

At least the boys were easy to find that first day moving in!  They LOVE the backyard!

 My super awesome dad drove down from Idaho to help us move!  I think he entertained the kids more than he unpacked but hey, it takles a village!  This is the garage...I wish I could say it looks less full of boxes but it doesn't....I am too pregnant at this point to have any desire to move ALL of this stuff in the house!  I venture out here once in a blue moon...mostly for baby stuff...but not too often!

 I wanted to throw in some pictures of the boys from 4th of July.  We had such a fun day and ended it spending time with Matt's parents...not bad for a crazy couple of weeks!

 Here's Q, playing with his sparklers!  Check out those mountains behind him!

I know it may not seem like a lot but it took 2 trips to the bathroom, a sippy cup refill, a fight break-up and some additional refereeing to get this blog post up!  Crazy, I know!